finding Endings and Beginnings

It’s Friday, 26th June 2020

And so it’s goodbye …

To short weekends and back to work Mondays 

To 9 to 5.30s, and gone too soon lunch hours 

To coffee to go and tea spilt on the keyboard

To work shoes with heels, and white shirts with pressed collars

To timelines and lead times and far too short deadlines

To conference calls, phone calls and over-run meetings

To log ins, and updates and change all your passwords

To trashing the spam and scrolling the inbox 

To targets and forecasts and need this tomorrow

To monitors, laptops, and flat hair from head-phones

To microsoft teams, powerpoint, excel spreadsheets

To flip charts, ring-binders, lost pens and highlighters

To daily reporting and one-to-one training

To stress, early starts, long hard days and exhaustion  …

 

To thank god it’s Fridays and have a good weekend

To drinks machine banter and after work wine-bars

To hitting the target and smashing the deadline

To pay days, poets days, holidays, and lieu days

To teamwork, and being there and how can I help you

To getting to know some extraordinary people

Who respected my work and even said thank you

 

And to my wonderful colleagues through all this

I’ve loved my jobs and yet, in the end 

it’s really only them

I’ll miss

finding Strength in Challenging Times

IMG_2838

 

Aghast

 We search the far horizon from the safety of our shore

The incoming tide furtively trickling in between our toes. 

The icy water recedes, then comes again

With perilous momentum lapping by stealth

Until it casts aside the fragile markers

                                  of our ordinary lives.

 

Fists clenched, we hold fast.

 

Not tides but numbers mark the hours

And all the while the endless weeks …

Then months of isolated days

Fall through our fingertips

                                 onto the shifting sands.

finding Amsterdam (2019)

Empty Rooms

 

Nothing for sale

But it was just after 10am

Everyone has to sleep, sometime.

 

Just soulless rooms with empty stools

High plinths

All the better for selling the wares

Faux leather

Wipe clean

Red …. of course

 

The sweet cloying perfume of cannabis

Hung heavy in the morning air

Joints easier to buy in a coffee shop here

Than a decaf latte to go

 

She barely registered them

Meandering by

Safe in their cosy togetherness

Just stood there

Bored vacant stare

A world away from theirs

The other side of the glass

 

Black lace

Painted face

Long legs

Pert breasts

A man’s fantasy tick box

In one window display

 

“It’s just sex”

“They’re looked after here, they’re …. clean”

“Business is business”

“At least she has a job”

“It happens anyway, anywhere”

“You can look, but, no fucking photos … ok?”

 

No

None of it felt,  ok

 

Her waist gave her away

Less a woman, more a girl

When did her journey bring her there?

Too young, too young

 

And when

Did her mind and her heart become empty rooms

Where for less than 50 euros

She had no choice but to sell her soul

 

 

finding Him

 

 

Unwittingly

 

They had each held the end 

Of the invisible string of fate

Connecting them

 

All the while

The string coiled tighter 

Pulling them in

 

Closer and closer

 

That day

Life held its breath

 

Their bodies so near now

The distance between them

No more that a moment in time

 

“Can I sit here?”, she’d said

 

He looked up,

The day stood still

All that went before, was before

 

This was their time

 

Fate’s work was done

 

finding The One

How was your day, today, my love?

Was the train on time?
Did your meetings all go well?
Did you work your lunch, or take the time, to look
out of the window at that bluest of blue sky we had today
and wonder if I’d seen it too?
And are you seeing friends tonight?
Or snugging in
with season four, a beer and take away?

My day?

The same …
the train, the meetings all went well, the lunch, the bluest of blue sky,
the friends, the snugging in …
and yes, I did, take time to wonder about you.

I know,
it’s strange
… you haven’t met me yet, don’t even know my name.
Our ordinary days go by, our lives evolve,
our paths wind on their way.

But know that, on just one of your so ordinary days
You will look up and see me there and wonder
is it her?
The one who I’ve been waiting for?

And I will feel the same.

Don’t rush, my love.
That day will come and if the time is right,
There’ll be no need to shout, and wave to stand out from the crowd.
Our paths will cross
And I will know you are the one
And you will know it too.

And there will be no more so ordinary days …
… and you will know for sure that when you see the bluest of blue sky

… that I have seen it too.

x

 

 

 

 

finding that Eating Alone Isn’t Funny!

 

Laughter needs two people.

Laughing alone, tears rolling down her face,

because her book, the one that was meant to make it look

like she hadn’t been stood up

in the restaurant,

that book – well it was

side-splittingly, eye-wateringly hilarious!

And who, in their right mind,  would want to sit

anywhere near the crazy English lady

snorting in the corner!!

finding Another Day

“Morning, lovely day!”

She scurried past,
envying the time to sit and stare,
her pace quickening,
clock ticking.

The park,
winter’s fading rays piercing the oaks,
shedding their green,
extraordinary in their autumn coat.

Littered empties, discarded butts
surrounding the bench,
night’s cold and weary secrets,
unpalatable, unseen.

Lone dog yapping
for another stick thrown,
his mornings, a well trodden path,
same walk, different day.

Other workers,
like her, mind full, head down,
unseeing, blind to the day’s
patient calling to be admired.

Breath misting,
tears trapped,
like a silent reminder
of the pain.

Her thoughts elsewhere.

Life’s pulse happening anyway
but everything had changed.

He had gone.

 

finding the Other Lady in his Life

so serene at rest
calm and self-assured

as the sparkling dance
on the tips of the waves
fades with the setting sun

gone
only to reappear above
in the darkened sky
like magic
one by one

the gentle lap on her bow
as she wraps her arms around you
her hypnotic caress
a slow, lingering kiss
your bodies as one as
she whispers sweet nothings

“I am here, trust me, I am yours”

with the waking day,
she sleepily stirs
the breeze catches her breath
her sun-kissed limbs
languidly stretch
as she turns her face to the sun
calling her
an intoxicating desire engulfing her

“take me”

she arches her back
and groans with longing
as she strains to the call
of the heady blue

your powerful arms hold her tight
guide her
reassure her
as you take control
as she bends to your will

and you conquer the world

as one

 

finding Summer

I love you
I love you
I love you

No need to say it back

I tell you
because it’s how you make me feel
because somewhere in the depths of
this bruised heart of mine

is a feeling that is
for you alone
and I will shower you with it
like confetti

because it makes every day
feel

like Summer